God Gave Me a Wink

Have you ever had something happen that you felt like was God winking at you? Has something happened to you that you know there is no way that it could just be a coincidence, because it was such a specific answer to pray, or such an extraordinary thing that you say "what are the possible chances of that just happening". Did you ever get a wink as a kid from a Mom, Dad, Granddad, Grandma, or close friend that you loved and it you understood that it just meant they were thinking about you? Have you ever seen in a movie where someone gives a wink to someone out in an audience out of everyone there they were looking and thinking of them?

Well, I think God gives us these sometimes. I call them God-winks, because it's just like He gives you a little wink to remind you that He loves you and that He's thinking about you. Usually they come at times that I'm really fervently praying about something, but every so often they just happen so random. It seems to me that He gives them to me the most when I'm uncertain or struggling, and just need to feel He's listening and in control of what's going on around me! It blows my mind to think that the Creator of all of the universe would take the time to give me a little wink! This time it was when I didn't really know that I needed assurance because I didn't feel like I was struggling with any uncertainties. Now that I look at it though I know that I really needed a God-wink, and so grateful He gave me this one!

I didn't realize that I have really been struggling with fears about my relationship with my daughter Chloe. Even though Chloe is adopted, I have often had to remind myself that I didn't give birth to her.   As she's growing older, I worry that she would one day not consider me to be her Mom. I've read or heard stories where adopted kids grow up to think there was always a missing piece.  I will tell you that my life makes way more sense with my daughter than without her, and she's the exact piece that was always missing for me. I just sometimes doubt that she would always feel the same way!

God just winked at me last night. He just gave me a message to stop being insecure or uncertain about who's daughter she is, because she was intended for me from the beginning of time. I'm assured once again that He ordained it! I tell her all the time that she wasn't born in my womb, but she was born in my heart! There have been many ways throughout the years that God has revealed that she's the exact one that He chose for me, and maybe I'll share them another time. Right now I just want to share the one that happened last night. I was going through some pictures last night to post for our 25th anniversary. I came out of the office to show a picture to Ken, and Chloe followed me back to see what I was doing. She started going through all of our photo albums, while commenting, laughing, and asking tons of questions. She came to a picture of our first dog named Sam. It was a picture with the date we first got him. Chloe said, "Oh, you got Sam the same day as my gotcha day". I looked at it and sure enough we had gotten him November 6, 1993. I thought that was really cool and we moved on.

After she started asking me more questions though I remembered how I had told my Mom that we got a dog. I called my Mom on the phone and told her, "Mom, you're not going to believe it, we adopted a baby boy today." She was so excited and before I could tell her it was a dog she was crying and in the most excited voice saying, "I didn't know you were even thinking of adopting that's so amazing". I did finally tell her and she wasn't very happy with me at that point. I know it's a silly story, but years later after my Mom had passed away we had the 3 boys. I was yearning for a little girl, but Ken wasn't open at all to any more children. I finally decided to pray and fast, and released my desire for a little girl to God. I released my thoughts and ways to Him knowing that His thoughts and ways were greater than mine.

For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9

As soon as I quoted that verse and released it God showed me that we were going to adopt from China. I literally told God that was not possible since my Mom wasn't here to tell so she would never know and I couldn't adopt knowing that I could never hear her response. (I know God loves how I question Him right after I just said His ways were greater than mine, so good thing His faithfulness is not based on my faith). Right at that moment I heard her voice in my head from that day that I told her we had adopted the dog, and I had not heard her voice in my head for many years. God used adopting the dog that day to confirm that we would adopt, and here was Chloe telling me that was the same day I called my Mom to tell her we adopted the dog, and the same date of her Gotcha day 12 years later. That was a God-wink if I've ever seen one.

The Lord bless you, and keep you; The Lord make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance on you, And give you peace. Numbers 6:24-26

I like to call them winks, but some might call it God smiling on us. I think I'm theologically sound, but it doesn't really matter what you call it. ;)  The phrase lift up His countenance biblically means "to lift up the eyes to look at someone with great regard and tender interest". I love to see God-winks in my life, and to hear them in other's lives as well. May the Lord of all the Universe wink at you, and give you peace today!