Is Seeing Believing or Believing Seeing?

Are we all in someways a doubting Thomas? He gets such a bad wrap, but I think we all want to see before we believe. I know that God has told me plenty of times that He was going to do something great in my life, and I struggled to believe. Thomas was certainly human to want to see and touch his nail scarred hands before he could get his hope up after such great loss!

Thomas answered and said to Him, "My Lord and my God!" Jesus said to him, "Because you have seen Me, have you believed? Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed." John 20:28-29

Jesus still showed up, He still died and rose from the grave, as nothing Thomas did changed who Jesus was. Thomas just missed out on the blessing of believing Jesus promise before He saw the physical evidence. Thomas didn't trust all he had seen Jesus do, and who He had proven Himself to be for the past 3 years. The good news is he did believe as soon as he saw Jesus, and that built Thomas' faith to go on to become a great disciple of the faith. Thomas is even said to have reached as far as Muziris, India with the message of Christ in 52 A.D., and often regarded as the Patron Saint of India.

Faith is a spiritual discipline that grows through studying God's character, and experiencing His faithfulness. I think of it like any physical discipline that we have as well. Exercise is a physical discipline that takes time to build in strength and ability. I remember when Ken and I began training for the half-marathon that I signed us up for and I thought it was NOT possible that first day running. I couldn't even run 2 minutes straight, and I thought I was going to die! My lungs felt like they were on fire and so did my legs!! I studied though how others trained, and I saw that they too couldn't do it at first. It took training to gradually build the bodies resistance, and the muscles too. At first we did run for a few minutes and then walk, then built up our time. Before I knew it we were running 6 minutes straight.

This is how I think of faith as well, in that we must first always remember how God has been faithful to us. We must build memory stones in our mind of all the times that God has been faithful to hear our prayers. We also build our faith by seeing how God worked through others in the Bible. I love Hebrews 11 as it is often referred to as the roll call of faith. It list many of the Bibles heroes & heroines that had faith despite very difficult circumstances. I also have read books like Corrie Ten Boom's book The Hiding Place that have helped me to see the faith of others.

Faith is like radar that sees through the fog-the reality of things at a distance that the human eye cannot see. Corrie Ten Boom

My faith is a muscle that is pretty weak sometimes and it has to be worked out like any muscle. God knows how weak my faith can be sometimes, and he is so gracious to see where my faith muscle is at. He works it out slowly, but just like finishing the half marathon there is such joy at the end to know that God worked on my behalf. There is nothing like the feeling of knowing that you're in His will, and that believing is seeing!!

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 

Since February 8, 2014 our life has been one of walking in faith for God's provision, when Ken lost his job only weeks away from being vested in a company he helped to start. Luckily, he had put in safeguards that included a good severance package. He then went to work for a start-up company, but because of choices made by the founder that lead to others not being paid Ken no longer felt right being paid when others weren't. He left that job, and we thanked God everyday for God's provision through his severance. Because of his nondisclosure agreement he couldn't work in the same field as the company he lost for a year. Every job opportunity he had before wasn't working out. He got some contract consulting jobs, and they all helped to provide everything we needed. We just weren't seeing anything long term though. We were so grateful for all of God's provision, and it helped us to learn to rely on God fully for everything we need daily.

With the anniversary of the job loss also came the end of the severance check, and we never could have imagined that Ken would not have a job by then. This also was the release of the NDA though which opened up more job possibilities. About a month later Ken and I had a very hard day. We were both having a lot of anxiety. We were both saying things that would make the other anxious as we were getting down to the bare bones of our finances. We were talking that day of possibly putting the house on the market. That is stressful in and of itself to think of getting a house ready for the market, and then thinking what we would do with our Bible Study meeting, etc.

I had been working on another blog post that was taking me back to remembering the church we attended when we were in college. That lead me to remember someone who taught Ken and I more about faith than any man has ever taught us. The man's name was Manley Beasley. I found some quotes that day that began to work in my heart. I shared them with Ken, and we began to pray.

"I tried bargaining with God. I even attempted to play on His sympathy - but God doesn't respond to either of those approaches. You can wish; you can desire; you can anticipate; you can do all kinds of things but still not have 'substance.' Sadly, that is about as far in the walk of faith that a lot of people go. They know intellectually. Their emotions desperately desire. But neither of these in or of themselves move God into action." 

"I told God that if He would just solve my problem, I would never doubt Him again. As I look back, I realize that I was getting it backwards; I was trying to get God to meet my need so that I could really believe. I did not realize that anyone can believe 'after' they have received. That is not real faith." 

"I was finally beginning to see that faith was not only intellectual and emotional, but also volitional. God has given us a will. With that will we make choices - choices to either accept something or reject it... I began to realize that God was waiting on me to act on His revealed truth because faith is acting on the Word of God. I must not only believe He can meet a need; I must not only want Him to meet a need; I must begin to act as though the need has been met, even though I might not be able to see it, feel it, smell it, taste it or hear it. I must begin acting as if it is so, when it is not so, in order for it to be so, because with God it is already so." 

"This now meant that I had to begin acting as though I had the $30,000 I needed to cover the note and the car. I said, 'Lord, I don't understand it.' He said, 'That's none of your business.' I said, 'How are you going to do it?' He said, 'That's none of your business either.' I said, 'But Lord, what if I fail?' He said: 'Who said you were a success?' I already knew that I was a failure, but that moment I decided that sink or swim, live or die, I was going to trust God." Manley Beasley:  Man of Faith - Instrument of Revival by Ron Owens

Manley Beasley was truly a man of faith. We had the pleasure of sitting next to him at church one night when he was speaking at our church before Ken and I were even married. Sitting that close to him we could feel and see that he just exuded the Holy Spirit. When he got up to speak he was barely able to walk, and they had to get a stool with a special cushion for him to sit, because he was so weak and had sores all over his back side. He was stricken with a disease in 1970 that the doctors said would kill him, but he lived with that disease for 20 years and several others as he trusted God each day for enough healing to get out of bed. His faith changed our lives!

God continued to remind me of all of what Manley Beasley had taught us about faith so long ago. Later that night I had a melt down with my son. I was helping my son get done with his school work for the semester, and let's just say we both were getting on each other's nerves and it didn't go well at all. It was late, and I was exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally. Ken had been asleep, but heard me and sat with me while I cried. We then began to cry out to God, and I felt ashamed at my lack of faith. God has blessed us beyond measure, and He has ALWAYS been faithful for provision. We just began to claim what we couldn't see and really believe that He was going to make a way. We didn't know how nor was it our business how He would do it, just trusting that He would do it.

The next day Ken was going to a meeting that he had with someone he knew through mutual friends and acquaintances, in which they had worked for the same company 20 years before. They were introduced through one of our sons' football coaches. He was going to meet about raising some capital funds for this man's start up business. He was hoping it might be another short term contract work. He went there for an hour meeting, and when I hadn't heard from him after 2 hours I called Ken to see how the meeting went. He said they were still meeting, and he would call me later. We found out later that the man he was meeting with named Roy called his Director of the Board to tell him about Ken, and said that he really felt like Ken was supposed to be the CEO of the company. The Director of the Board said he supported the decision. We got off the phone, and I was praying at home the whole time. I was thinking that I was praying he would get out of that meeting so he could get back to some other opportunities that were in the works.

Ken went back to the table and Roy told him that he wanted to talk to him alone after they got done talking with the other employees that were there sharing about the business. Ken agreed to stay. When everyone else had left Roy told Ken that he really felt like God had brought them together, and that he knew that he wanted Ken to be the CEO. Ken was shocked! First, because Ken had no idea there was an opening for CEO. Second, because he thought this was just about helping them get capitol. Third, because it wasn't at all what Ken thought God would have him do. Fourth, because this was a little bit scary to do a start up company again. Fifth, well you get the point!! Ken didn't see this coming at all. They left the meeting in agreement to pray about it, and that Ken would have to talk to close out the other possibilities that he was working on before. Everyone he talked to was extremely supportive, and he had so many strong men of God that had been praying for him knowing the situation with his job.

Ken came home, and he just began to tear up telling me how honored he felt to be asked to be the CEO and the confidence that Roy had in him. We were both overwhelmed with God's love, grace, and mercy for us! Our God is so faithful, and all He requires is a mustard seed of faith. He is so amazing that I don't really get the idea how all He asks for is such a small amount of faith to move mountains (which simply means that God will make the impossible totally possible). Ken now works for a company called NutraSpace. The amazing thing is that Roy is originally from India, and his ancestors can be directly traced back to those to who were lead to faith by the Apostle Thomas. Thomas learned through his doubt that Jesus was who He said He was, and went on to be a great apostle that lead many down through the generations to Christ!

God works in His own way, and in His own timing though. He is a just in time God, and He knows just how much our faith needs to be stretched before that mountain moves. He also makes sure that there is no way that any man can take the credit. Even though it is ALL for His glory, it's not like the human selfish kind but in order to shine His character in our lives. When we know HIS character, then we know His perfect unconditional love for us. When we know His perfect unconditional love for us, then we know there is NOTHING to fear! When we know there is nothing to fear, than we can believe before we see. When we believe then we will be able to FOCUS on our FAITHFUL God, and not our circumstance.

You will keep him in perfect peace when his mind is stayed on You, because he trust in You. Isaiah 26:3

When we were in Colorado last year driving through the mountains this song came on in the car. We had flown into Denver, and God had miraculously landed our plane safely when one of our engines went out. We all were worshiping God because our focus was on His character that was on display. Rays of sunshine were shining through the clouds, and the mountains were so majestic. Our focus was on Him, and the only response we could give was to worship Him.

"Your Epidermis is Showing"

I used to go around telling people when I was about 8 or 9 that their epidermis was showing. I guess someone older had taught me that, but most of the people my age didn't know what it meant. They would look down to see if anything was showing that wasn't supposed to, and they would usually say something like "no, it's not".  They would look because they had ignorance about what it meant. I've heard it said that when we know better than we should do better. Unfortunately, in the case of abortion I think that ignorance is what makes people think there isn't really a life that is being snuffed out because they can't see the epidermis showing.

The question is being asked by many the last few days due to a politician asking someone else "when does life begin". I can't help but think that many believe babies don't have rights because life begins when the epidermis is showing, and before birth only the Mother has all the "reproductive rights". Reproduction means the act of reproducing or the condition or process of being reproduced. The process of reproducing occurred at conception, and all the "reproductive rights" were with the choice of what two people used to prevent or not prevent that conception.

Watching the news today we can see there are more racial issues today than ever, and many people feel that there is injustice for those whose epidermis' are different. If we truly wanted to show that we care for all human life, and skin color doesn't matter than shouldn't we protect life even when the epidermis isn't showing for the most weak and vulnerable? When we say all lives matter...do they really matter in the womb? Obviously, we can all see how horrible it is that a man is running away and shot in the back by someone who is sworn to uphold the law and protect life. Their epidermis was showing and we could see that the officer was white and the man running was black. Many feel like it was motivated by their epidermis showing. It's not in the news as often, but we just saw in Milwaukee how crime is increasing in the low income neighborhoods and all based on where they happened to live more than the color of their epidermis.

In China we can see that girls (in this case their gender is showing) are discarded like trash because they have a different chromosome that is not as valued as another chromosome. We can all agree how horrible that is that they would tell people that they can't keep their child, because the heart of a Mother is to protect her own flesh and blood. We can also see how horrible it is that women are traded into sexual slavery by groups like Boko Haram. We can see that Coptic Christians are being beheaded and know that they are being killed because their beliefs are showing and different. We can all agree how horrible it is that these atrocities happen all around us.

I just can't understand why people aren't as horrified that a baby can be burned, or have its limbs torn off because its epidermis isn't showing. An aborted babies only crime is that it happened to be "reproduced" in the wrong uterus, and deemed by "choice" to be undesirable because it might inconvenience the people that practiced their or didn't practice their "reproductive rights".

Even if we can't see their epidermis there is one that can see each life even in the womb, and was there at the very conception. I know the day that all my children were conceived, including my daughter (through the wonderful choice of adoption) Chloe, even though I didn't understand it at the time. I was awoken at 3 am on January 27, 2004 to pray for my baby girl. I had a picture of her in my head. I thought it was the day she was born, but God showed me later it was the day she was conceived. The interesting thing is that God gave me the words to speak that day and I prayed that God would form her inward parts perfectly. I even wrote it all down in a journal. I didn't realize that I was praying for her conception, but I was. God makes it clear that He knows and cares deeply about all people from the womb to the tomb.

For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my should knows it very well. Psalms 139:12-13

Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, And before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations. Jeremiah 1:5

Thus says the Lord who made you and formed you from the womb, who will help you, 'Do not fear, O Jacob my servant; And you Jeshurun whom I have chosen. Isaiah 44:2 

Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Psalm 127:3

Listen to Me, O house of Jacob, and all the remnant of the house of Israel, You who have been borne by Me from birth And have been carried from the womb; Even to your old age I will be the same, And even to your graying years I will bear you! I have done it, and I will carry you; And I will bear you and I will deliver you. 'To whom would you liken Me And make me equal and compare Me, That we would be alike? Isaiah 46:3-5

I look at my daughter and can't imagine her not being here. I also look at my son Nathan and can't imagine him not being here, as it was recommended by a specialist that I "selectively abort" him. His amniotic fluid was dangerously low, and it would make it more possible for his twin Noah to have a healthy birth. How could I "choose" that Noah's life was more valuable than Nathan's life? How could I not trust their Creator that both of their lives were valuable?

I have the same heart as my Mother who worked with many women who struggled with "undesired" pregnancies. She loved babies and believed all life was precious and created by God. I remember she was so excited when the first pregnancy center was started in my home town, and her heart was to see many women served who were struggling and didn't have the support they needed in their pregnancy. She was leading on this issue to realize that we couldn't be "slapping" women with the Bible in condemnation if we wanted to help them to make the positive choice of life.

I worked at a Pregnancy Center for many years, and helped to start some post-abortion support groups. These women were often going through the same grieving process as if they had lost their baby from miscarriage or other forms of death. The thing that surprised me the most was the men who struggled with the decision of abortion as well. All abortion ends a life, but it also destroys families, which is often not talked about. I want any woman who has made the destructive decision to abort to know that there is hope and forgiveness on the other side of abortion. I have seen many times that God turns ashes of mourning into beauty, and can give the oil of gladness instead of grieving. The final stage of grieving is acceptance, and acceptance doesn't come until denial about the loss is done. I grieve that abortion has occurred in my family, and often think of the loss of a life that could have been. I pray for comfort for those who have lost especially because they don't understand they have lost. To me that is the saddest kind of loss!

I can't understand why some choose not to see, and I have to believe that they are just ignorant. I try to think of those kids who didn't understand their epidermis was showing, because they were ignorant that their epidermis was their skin. Unless they wore a burqa there was no way their epidermis wasn't showing. Technology seems to be changing hearts and minds because we can now see the life in the womb clearer than ever before. I think there are still many ignorant because they lack the knowledge that keeps many from understanding the truth. They don't understand that when there is a lack of a beating heart death is pronounced and therefore a beating heart is proof of life! I believe we have to try to understand and pray for those who don't believe abortion is taking a life, because too many of them believe life begins when their epidermis is showing. We must pray that they would no longer be ignorant of the fact that there is still life even when the epidermis isn't showing on the outside of the womb.

Being ignorant is not so much a shame, as being unwilling to learn. - Benjamin Franklin

The Rose of Sharon

What a blessing to hear Savior, the story of God's passion for His people last Friday at Gateway Church. It was a wonderful event that had beautiful worship music with a full choir and orchestra. There were musical guest of Twila Paris, Steve Green, Larnelle Harris, and Wayne Watson. 

They sang a song titled "Rose of Sharon", and it really made me want to research about what the Rose of Sharon means. All I do know is that I love the smell of the essential oil that I have. My son actually asked me "Who is Sharon". I found out the rose of Sharon is usually a thornless rose, and that got me thinking about the crown of thorns. I then began to research why they used the crown of thorns. What does the crown of thorns represent in Christ death? I thought I would share a few of my findings that seemed appropriate as we get ready to commemorate Good Friday, and Resurrection Sunday.

First, the Rose of Sharon is a name often used in association with Christ. It is a rose that is found in the plains of Sharon in the Holy Land. It is found in the Song of Solomon, and it is supposed to represent perfect love and beauty. This does remind me of the perfect love of Christ on the cross for us, and the beauty of His ultimate sacrifice. It is roses that a man often gives to a woman to show his love, and is seen as a symbol of love. Christ is seen as the Bridegroom that is coming for His Bride, and reminds us of His passion for pursuing us to His own death. It is ironic to me that it is said to be thornless because of the crown of thorns that is associated with his sacrifice. It reminds me though of a beautiful rose like a man would give a woman whose thorns are painful to the one that sacrifices for others to enjoy it's beauty, and given in love. 

Thorns or thistles in the Bible are often associated with the fall of man. In Genesis 3:18 it says that "thorns also and thistles shall [the ground] bring forth to thee". It is the fall that set into motion the pain and suffering of Christ in God's beautiful redemption plan. How often is it in our own pain that we can see how He turns beauty into ashes. It is the law that shows us sin that must be punished, and it is our tutor to bring us to Christ. It is in our pain that we often fall to the foot of the cross. It is in our pain that reminds us that we are only foreigners passing through to our HOME, and finally to our true resting place in Christ for all eternity. If we are all honest with ourselves we would understand that we would be quite content here on Earth if it weren't for tears, sorrow, pain, and suffering. It is the thorns and thistles that causes us to truly appreciate the beauty of the rose. It is only in our pain that we can truly appreciate the beauty of God's love for us. The beauty is that He will one day wipe away all our tears, no more pain, no more sorrow, and most of all no more sin that physically separates us from Him. Hallelujah!! 

Thorns and thistles was also seen in the story where Abraham went to sacrifice Isaac, and as he was raising the knife to sacrifice his son on the alter the angel of the Lord said...

Do not stretch out your hand against the lad, and do nothing to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from Me. Then Abraham raised his eyes and looked, and behold, behind him a ram caught in the thicket by his horns; and Abraham went and took the ram and offered him up for a burnt offering in the place of his son. Genesis 22:12-13

This is a picture of the substitutionary sacrifice that Jesus became for us. The rams horns were caught in the thicket like a crown, and such a representation of the crown of thorns that would be placed on Christ head. The crown of thorns was placed on His head as a sign to mock Jesus as King, but little did they know that this was a representation of the fall of man. He came as the sacrifice for the sin of all man, to restore us to the beauty of His creation. 

There are many things about the Story of Easter that gets me emotional, but one thing that gets me every time is any song I hear that includes how He tore the veil. Anyone who has studied the Tabernacle, and the Holy of Holies knows how amazing it is that we can now enter into the Holy of Holies. The Holy of Holies was separated from the rest of the temple in Jerusalem by a heavy curtain or veil. The Holy of Holies was the earthly dwelling place of God's presence, and the veil represented that we were separated from God. No one went into the Holy of Holies except for the High Priest once a year in order to make atonement for all of Israel's sin. As soon as Christ yielded up His Spirit then the veil was torn. 

And behold, the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom; and the earth shook and the rocks were split. Matthew 27:51

I often feel for those who think they still have to go to others like a Priest to confess sin, as we now have entry into the Holy of Holies through Christ. We are now the Temple of the Holy Spirit. We are the earthly dwelling place of God's presence. We can pray to God anytime and anywhere. He says if we confess our sins that He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1John 1:9) We are now found worthy through Christ to enter the most Holy of Holies, and one day we will be with Him face to face. Do we still only visit the Holy of Holies once a year on Easter when we seek Him. The veil is torn, and when we confess Christ as our Savior then we are no longer separated from God. Why would we not regularly enter into His Holy presence through prayer? What an amazing privilege. If we are worthy to go before the Holy of Holies then who on this Earth can tell us we are unworthy! 

This good Friday I will seek to remember that what was painful for Christ represents the GOOD news for us, and the beauty of His sacrifice. That He sacrificed everything so that we would no longer be separated from Him. I will seek to remember this resurrection day that it is through the pain of the crown of thorns that we can know the beauty of the "Rose of Sharon".

Here's a little sampling of some singing we heard before the Savior concert. Wayne Watson singing "It Was the Blood of Jesus", and Larnelle Harris giving us a little taste of "Amen".