Is Seeing Believing or Believing Seeing?

Are we all in someways a doubting Thomas? He gets such a bad wrap, but I think we all want to see before we believe. I know that God has told me plenty of times that He was going to do something great in my life, and I struggled to believe. Thomas was certainly human to want to see and touch his nail scarred hands before he could get his hope up after such great loss!

Thomas answered and said to Him, "My Lord and my God!" Jesus said to him, "Because you have seen Me, have you believed? Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed." John 20:28-29

Jesus still showed up, He still died and rose from the grave, as nothing Thomas did changed who Jesus was. Thomas just missed out on the blessing of believing Jesus promise before He saw the physical evidence. Thomas didn't trust all he had seen Jesus do, and who He had proven Himself to be for the past 3 years. The good news is he did believe as soon as he saw Jesus, and that built Thomas' faith to go on to become a great disciple of the faith. Thomas is even said to have reached as far as Muziris, India with the message of Christ in 52 A.D., and often regarded as the Patron Saint of India.

Faith is a spiritual discipline that grows through studying God's character, and experiencing His faithfulness. I think of it like any physical discipline that we have as well. Exercise is a physical discipline that takes time to build in strength and ability. I remember when Ken and I began training for the half-marathon that I signed us up for and I thought it was NOT possible that first day running. I couldn't even run 2 minutes straight, and I thought I was going to die! My lungs felt like they were on fire and so did my legs!! I studied though how others trained, and I saw that they too couldn't do it at first. It took training to gradually build the bodies resistance, and the muscles too. At first we did run for a few minutes and then walk, then built up our time. Before I knew it we were running 6 minutes straight.

This is how I think of faith as well, in that we must first always remember how God has been faithful to us. We must build memory stones in our mind of all the times that God has been faithful to hear our prayers. We also build our faith by seeing how God worked through others in the Bible. I love Hebrews 11 as it is often referred to as the roll call of faith. It list many of the Bibles heroes & heroines that had faith despite very difficult circumstances. I also have read books like Corrie Ten Boom's book The Hiding Place that have helped me to see the faith of others.

Faith is like radar that sees through the fog-the reality of things at a distance that the human eye cannot see. Corrie Ten Boom

My faith is a muscle that is pretty weak sometimes and it has to be worked out like any muscle. God knows how weak my faith can be sometimes, and he is so gracious to see where my faith muscle is at. He works it out slowly, but just like finishing the half marathon there is such joy at the end to know that God worked on my behalf. There is nothing like the feeling of knowing that you're in His will, and that believing is seeing!!

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 

Since February 8, 2014 our life has been one of walking in faith for God's provision, when Ken lost his job only weeks away from being vested in a company he helped to start. Luckily, he had put in safeguards that included a good severance package. He then went to work for a start-up company, but because of choices made by the founder that lead to others not being paid Ken no longer felt right being paid when others weren't. He left that job, and we thanked God everyday for God's provision through his severance. Because of his nondisclosure agreement he couldn't work in the same field as the company he lost for a year. Every job opportunity he had before wasn't working out. He got some contract consulting jobs, and they all helped to provide everything we needed. We just weren't seeing anything long term though. We were so grateful for all of God's provision, and it helped us to learn to rely on God fully for everything we need daily.

With the anniversary of the job loss also came the end of the severance check, and we never could have imagined that Ken would not have a job by then. This also was the release of the NDA though which opened up more job possibilities. About a month later Ken and I had a very hard day. We were both having a lot of anxiety. We were both saying things that would make the other anxious as we were getting down to the bare bones of our finances. We were talking that day of possibly putting the house on the market. That is stressful in and of itself to think of getting a house ready for the market, and then thinking what we would do with our Bible Study meeting, etc.

I had been working on another blog post that was taking me back to remembering the church we attended when we were in college. That lead me to remember someone who taught Ken and I more about faith than any man has ever taught us. The man's name was Manley Beasley. I found some quotes that day that began to work in my heart. I shared them with Ken, and we began to pray.

"I tried bargaining with God. I even attempted to play on His sympathy - but God doesn't respond to either of those approaches. You can wish; you can desire; you can anticipate; you can do all kinds of things but still not have 'substance.' Sadly, that is about as far in the walk of faith that a lot of people go. They know intellectually. Their emotions desperately desire. But neither of these in or of themselves move God into action." 

"I told God that if He would just solve my problem, I would never doubt Him again. As I look back, I realize that I was getting it backwards; I was trying to get God to meet my need so that I could really believe. I did not realize that anyone can believe 'after' they have received. That is not real faith." 

"I was finally beginning to see that faith was not only intellectual and emotional, but also volitional. God has given us a will. With that will we make choices - choices to either accept something or reject it... I began to realize that God was waiting on me to act on His revealed truth because faith is acting on the Word of God. I must not only believe He can meet a need; I must not only want Him to meet a need; I must begin to act as though the need has been met, even though I might not be able to see it, feel it, smell it, taste it or hear it. I must begin acting as if it is so, when it is not so, in order for it to be so, because with God it is already so." 

"This now meant that I had to begin acting as though I had the $30,000 I needed to cover the note and the car. I said, 'Lord, I don't understand it.' He said, 'That's none of your business.' I said, 'How are you going to do it?' He said, 'That's none of your business either.' I said, 'But Lord, what if I fail?' He said: 'Who said you were a success?' I already knew that I was a failure, but that moment I decided that sink or swim, live or die, I was going to trust God." Manley Beasley:  Man of Faith - Instrument of Revival by Ron Owens

Manley Beasley was truly a man of faith. We had the pleasure of sitting next to him at church one night when he was speaking at our church before Ken and I were even married. Sitting that close to him we could feel and see that he just exuded the Holy Spirit. When he got up to speak he was barely able to walk, and they had to get a stool with a special cushion for him to sit, because he was so weak and had sores all over his back side. He was stricken with a disease in 1970 that the doctors said would kill him, but he lived with that disease for 20 years and several others as he trusted God each day for enough healing to get out of bed. His faith changed our lives!

God continued to remind me of all of what Manley Beasley had taught us about faith so long ago. Later that night I had a melt down with my son. I was helping my son get done with his school work for the semester, and let's just say we both were getting on each other's nerves and it didn't go well at all. It was late, and I was exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally. Ken had been asleep, but heard me and sat with me while I cried. We then began to cry out to God, and I felt ashamed at my lack of faith. God has blessed us beyond measure, and He has ALWAYS been faithful for provision. We just began to claim what we couldn't see and really believe that He was going to make a way. We didn't know how nor was it our business how He would do it, just trusting that He would do it.

The next day Ken was going to a meeting that he had with someone he knew through mutual friends and acquaintances, in which they had worked for the same company 20 years before. They were introduced through one of our sons' football coaches. He was going to meet about raising some capital funds for this man's start up business. He was hoping it might be another short term contract work. He went there for an hour meeting, and when I hadn't heard from him after 2 hours I called Ken to see how the meeting went. He said they were still meeting, and he would call me later. We found out later that the man he was meeting with named Roy called his Director of the Board to tell him about Ken, and said that he really felt like Ken was supposed to be the CEO of the company. The Director of the Board said he supported the decision. We got off the phone, and I was praying at home the whole time. I was thinking that I was praying he would get out of that meeting so he could get back to some other opportunities that were in the works.

Ken went back to the table and Roy told him that he wanted to talk to him alone after they got done talking with the other employees that were there sharing about the business. Ken agreed to stay. When everyone else had left Roy told Ken that he really felt like God had brought them together, and that he knew that he wanted Ken to be the CEO. Ken was shocked! First, because Ken had no idea there was an opening for CEO. Second, because he thought this was just about helping them get capitol. Third, because it wasn't at all what Ken thought God would have him do. Fourth, because this was a little bit scary to do a start up company again. Fifth, well you get the point!! Ken didn't see this coming at all. They left the meeting in agreement to pray about it, and that Ken would have to talk to close out the other possibilities that he was working on before. Everyone he talked to was extremely supportive, and he had so many strong men of God that had been praying for him knowing the situation with his job.

Ken came home, and he just began to tear up telling me how honored he felt to be asked to be the CEO and the confidence that Roy had in him. We were both overwhelmed with God's love, grace, and mercy for us! Our God is so faithful, and all He requires is a mustard seed of faith. He is so amazing that I don't really get the idea how all He asks for is such a small amount of faith to move mountains (which simply means that God will make the impossible totally possible). Ken now works for a company called NutraSpace. The amazing thing is that Roy is originally from India, and his ancestors can be directly traced back to those to who were lead to faith by the Apostle Thomas. Thomas learned through his doubt that Jesus was who He said He was, and went on to be a great apostle that lead many down through the generations to Christ!

God works in His own way, and in His own timing though. He is a just in time God, and He knows just how much our faith needs to be stretched before that mountain moves. He also makes sure that there is no way that any man can take the credit. Even though it is ALL for His glory, it's not like the human selfish kind but in order to shine His character in our lives. When we know HIS character, then we know His perfect unconditional love for us. When we know His perfect unconditional love for us, then we know there is NOTHING to fear! When we know there is nothing to fear, than we can believe before we see. When we believe then we will be able to FOCUS on our FAITHFUL God, and not our circumstance.

You will keep him in perfect peace when his mind is stayed on You, because he trust in You. Isaiah 26:3

When we were in Colorado last year driving through the mountains this song came on in the car. We had flown into Denver, and God had miraculously landed our plane safely when one of our engines went out. We all were worshiping God because our focus was on His character that was on display. Rays of sunshine were shining through the clouds, and the mountains were so majestic. Our focus was on Him, and the only response we could give was to worship Him.