I'm the Apple of My Father's Eye

I used to always hear the saying "she's the apple of his eye", and it was usually talking about a daughter to her father's eye. Hearing it would strike to the heart of my very being as I always wanted to be the apple of my father's eye. My father left the family when I was 3, and I very rarely saw him throughout my life. I always had a huge hole in my heart where I longed for my father's love and approval.

I had become a very angry person. I saw my Dad before I started my senior year, and we went together to open a savings account for college that he said he would put money in every month. He put a couple of hundred dollars to start off with, and I began to put money into it as well. One day when I was having to pay for some of my admissions for colleges I was applying for I went to withdraw from the account and the teller said it had been closed by Richard Patton. I was devastated that my Dad had taken all the money including what I had put into my account. Who would do that to anyone, much less a father to his daughter! He never said a word about it, but one day after not hearing from him for the whole year he called and told me that he would come to my high school graduation. I looked for him, but He wasn't there.

My Mom and I moved in with my Grandparents the summer before my senior year. What was supposed to be a very joyful and special time in my life was some of the worst memories of my life. I went to school from 7 am to 2 pm and I had 2 jobs after school. One morning I woke up to my Mom telling me to get up that my "Granddad was dead and I needed to take the kids from the day-care to school".  I got up to take those kids, but I was very angry about how such grievous news was handled. My senior year I had some serious health issues as well. I had a nodule in my throat that they thought could be cancerous. It kept growing and getting harder, until it was baseball size. I had thyroid surgery after graduation, and I'm so grateful that it was benign.

I never felt like I was worthy of love. That summer after I graduated and after I recovered from my surgery I went on a mission trip to Washington State. I didn't realize it when I left, but that mission trip would change my life. One night on that mission trip the pastor was leading a youth rally, and he shared a story about a girl who was willing to die for her father. I remember just feeling such anger, bitterness, and actual rage welling up in me. I didn't even want to think of the possibility that God would ask me to do anything for my father much less die for him. I felt so angry at my father and God for asking anything of me like that when my father had done nothing but hurt me. It was like a mirror was being held up to my face and I could see how ugly the bitterness looked on the inside of me. I knew God was saying as I saw the ugliness inside of me, "I did that for you". I literally saw how ugly my sin was to God, yet He still loved me enough to die for me. I began to cry and felt God working in my heart to release the bitterness and forgive my father. I had read several verses that said God is a father to the fatherless. I first released my earthly father from ever being what I would expect a father to be, and I literally held my hands in the air and asked God to be my Father.

When I returned home I was asked to share a story about the mission trip at church. I was going to share some other stories of several of the youth there that really committed their lives to Christ, but as I got up there I just began to share what happened to me on that mission trip and how God changed my heart. My brother called me the next day and told me that my dad was at his house and that the service with my testimony had been on TV. My dad had watched it and was crying. He said he never knew he hurt anyone so much. My Dad never said anything to me, but it was such a relief to know that he had been able to hear my heart. I began to see God do miracles in my life, and He truly showed me that He was my Father. God was always my Father, but it wasn't until I stopped looking to my earthly father that I could see He was my provider. Literally everything my earthly father ever promised me God provided. God is a FAITHFUL Father! He provided for my college at an expensive private school, and a car for $250. Who gets a car that runs for that?

God is also a loving Father that restores relationships! He is the ultimate Ward Cleaver! I was so angry at my Mom for how she told me about my Grandfather's death, but when I came home from the mission trip she told me how sorry she was for the way she woke me up and how she had told me the morning of his passing. God restored the relationship so that we were closer than ever before I left for college. It was only a few months after I got to college that I met what would be my future husband for almost 25 years now (which is a story for another day).

I finally knew that I was the apple of my Heavenly Father's eye!

God's Word says that we are the apple of His eye:

Deuteronomy 32:10

He found him in a desert land, and in the waste howling wilderness; he led him about, he instructed him, he kept him as the apple of his eye.

in the Book of Psalms 17:8

Keep me as the apple of the eye, hide me under the shadow of thy wings

in Proverbs 7:2

Keep my commandments, and live; and my law as the apple of thine eye.

Lamentations 2: 18

Their heart cried unto the Lord, O wall of the daughter of Zion, let tears run down like a river day and night: give thyself no rest; let not the apple of thine eye cease.

as well as in Zechariah 2:8

For thus saith the LORD of hosts; After the glory hath he sent me unto the nations which spoiled you: for he that toucheth you toucheth the apple of his eye. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_of_my_eye

I love to think of being the apple of God's eye for many different reasons:

• My oldest niece couldn't pronounce my name - April - so she would call me Apple. So this Idiom has a special meaning for me as it is part of a nick name. Celebrities are calling their kids Apple so why not?
• The phrase apple of my eye refers to something or someone that one cherishes above all others. Some believe it comes from choosing so carefully the best apple of the bunch. When God says we are the apple of His eye, it is because we are carefully chosen and cherished out of the bunch for His calling. 
• Apples are given to teachers to show appreciation of how they help their students to grow and learn, and some believe it is because it is associated with Adam and Eve and the tree of Knowledge. 
• Originally meaning the central aperture (pupil) of the eye. When you look at the pupil of someone's eye you can see your refection in it.

I love that I am the apple of God's eye! When I look into the very pupil of God's eyes I see myself reflected back, and I know that His eyes are always carefully watching over me! It doesn't matter really who on this earth thinks you're the apple of their eye, when the God of the universe calls you that by name!

I know Valentine's day is usually about romantic love, but I think it's a great time to reflect on God's love. The very nature of God is LOVE! He is a loving and faithful Father! Happy Valentine's Day! 

http://biblehub.com/zechariah/2-8.htm